Why Don’t You Call Me - James Blake

Why Don’t You Call Me - James Blake

kissmeok:

♡Love/Couples♡

kissmeok:

♡Love/Couples♡

The tears that escaped me left a blazing trail on my cheek from the sting of pain that was just issued to my face. I whipped my face back around and stared into his eyes with such hate and disgust hoping he could feel how much those feelings encompassed me. “Go away I can’t even look at you, you’re disgusting!” Pivoting on my foot I turned and walked off to the bathroom, locked the door, stripped down and climbed into the bath tub. This is the only place I could cry without him hearing me and the only place he couldn’t get to me.

One day when I’m so far away from this place I’ll think of you and wonder how you’re doing. ☕️

One day when I’m so far away from this place I’ll think of you and wonder how you’re doing. ☕️

Secret: when my nails are done and I’m done being pampered I feel so much prettier. ☺️

Secret: when my nails are done and I’m done being pampered I feel so much prettier. ☺️

Poke 2 (New Experience)

Closing my legs as tightly as I could, as to reverse what had just happened, I quickly power walked to the restroom, shut the door behind me and sank to the floor. With my back against the door and my legs pulled up to my chest, I sobbed into my knees. I agreed to this, I wanted it, but why did I feel so guilty? I had planned to save myself for my husband, but I was in love with you and I was sure we were going to get married one day anyways. Quickly I assessed that it was acceptable and I didn’t do anything wrong. My mind fluttered back to just ten minutes prior. “Does this hurt? Tell me if it hurts.” You stared so deep into my eyes I was so embarrassed to even look at yours. I could feel your weight on top of me and all I could do was shake my head and then nod. I couldn’t talk; afraid to open my mouth from fear of what would escape my lips. I knitted my brows and laid there, it did feel good. I was thinking too much and wasn’t focusing on enjoying myself. Next thing I knew, something sticky and hot was flowing onto my stomach. You collapsed next to me and kissed my cheek softly. “Wow” you breathed. You jumped out of bed grabbed an old tee shirt from the laundry bin and wiped yourself off, then me. “Go clean up.” It’s like I was waiting for that, waiting to be released from your trance. - After cleaning myself and the blood that tainted my purity, I walked out of the restroom holding my breasts down. I slowly walked back to where you were; you were in a pair of cotton boxers, shirtless sitting in front of the computer screen with one hand on your left knee, the other on the mouse. I felt like an intruder, an outsider.

Let’s say we’re going to get deep for a minute and really delve into my physiological time lapse. Due to the fact I have had a dad in my life, my whole life, does not mean I have a father. I do crave male affection and this is why I can’t let go.

Due to the fact that I was a prisoner in my own home I was eager to get a job at a young age. I could leave the house and make friends as I pleased with an occupation. One day I decided to call in sick; yes even though I was not sick. I wanted to go out, I wanted to explore. Also I didn’t want to work that Thursday night with the creepy 40 year old inventory guy that kept asking me out to dinner and permission to take pictures of me. Time with you was a much better way to spend my Thursday night. I have lived in the DFW area my whole life but have seen less of it than most people who have simply visited. Anyways, I was extremely excited, scared, nervous and on edge about the evening. Told my parents I was off to work and would be back later that night after closing. You drove, you always drove, because you hated my driving. You’re the only person I felt safe being a passenger to at that time. Just before we got to down town Dallas, my phone lit up, vibrated repeatedly. Scared as hell to look at it, I tapped my screen to see the previewed alert. Dad: “where are you”. Fuck. After numerous text messages of me trying to save my ass, I begged him to just take me home, please. I believe he could hear my heart smashing into my chest cavity because then that question cut through the air “Claudine, does he hit you?” And all I could do was not meet his eyes with mine… My heart beat went into overdrive.

Alcohol induces happiness. Haven’t had a good time like this in a while! *Cheers* to this new chapter! ☺️🍺

Alcohol induces happiness. Haven’t had a good time like this in a while! *Cheers* to this new chapter! ☺️🍺

Poke

Taking that drive at 11 pm was the most thrilling adrenaline rush I was pleasured with at that time. Staying out till 2 am and then sneaking back into my house without a noticing soul. It was the highlight of my night, I didn’t care if I slept or not; I never cared. One night you asked me if you could make me more comfortable, “how about we try this?” You always had a way of saying something without saying it. You were always so mysteriously interesting and that’s what drew me to you the most. My curiosity bubbled over and exploded when I was with you. You fed my naivety and showed me the potentials of life. “Ok” I shyly responded, I was always so shy with you. And that’s when you took me.

"I gasped. He was big, hard as stone, and so damn deep. The connection was startlingly intense. Emotionally. Mentally. I’d never felt so completely… taken. Possessed."

- Bared To You by Sylvia Day

saltblock:

Thinkin Bout You | Frank Ocean

Man what a stud!

Man what a stud!

Only time I’m truly not bothered by bullshit.

Only time I’m truly not bothered by bullshit.

Nawlin’s Punch at Papadeaux’s the other day with my coworkers. So yummy.

Nawlin’s Punch at Papadeaux’s the other day with my coworkers. So yummy.